omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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