okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
