i jhust puked up my retainher.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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