how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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