Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
