I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
