I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i've created a new STD.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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