mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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