I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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