yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Barsexuality is the new black.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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