She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
