I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
