why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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