Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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