no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
