I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My ass is underappreciated
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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