why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
