So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
