Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
