and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
