what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
