Non-Jews are for practice
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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