Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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