well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
