That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My cat gives me a boner
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
