carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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