you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
