Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
