but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
