so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
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Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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