its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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