She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
