I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
