the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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