I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
