she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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