too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
time to smoke my breakfast
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
