i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
