I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
