Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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