So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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