i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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