sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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