i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
