I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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