WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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