He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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