I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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