I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
try to milk me bitch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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