Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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