Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
