on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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