We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
