she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
