Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
