this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
