oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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