I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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