I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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