I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
