If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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